white lies

after a quick jaunt to target this evening to get some last minute packing tape and sterilite bins, we headed over to on the border for some cheap mexican food. seated in our booth and knocking back negro modelos, we sighed and began to relax...

until the 4 bimbos behind us began cackling. it looked to be a "girls' night out," from the string of vaguely vaginal pink fruity drinks ordered by the quartet. these broads were actually behaving just like extras for sex and the city: tyngsboro edition. i used to think that sitcoms were some tragic detritus sloughed off from an alien world, but sometimes i realize that it's reality for most people and we happen to be the weird ones. like, ohmigod, did you not realize that the purpose of a book club is to like, actually read the book first? gawd it's so boring and people are so serious. what i never understood was the need among the female species to both increase pitch and frequency of nasal snorts for emphasis. i asked kz if he wanted to move, but he hadn't gotten to that acute point of hatred yet.

while kz went to the bathroom, i began concocting my speech for the waitress. kz and i were both raised by mute mothers. it's far more common than you think. we actually met at a conference for people raised by dumbstruck caregivers, isn't that crazy? met there and married 2 years later, godbless. but yeah. so since we both grew up without the auditory conditioning normal children receive from years of nagging and wailing, we find such gaggles of loud women in public places to cause actual physical pain, no offense to the responsible party. so could we possibly move to the booths near the bar and allow our still naive otoliths some recovery time? thank you so much, you're so understanding, no really...

alas, the bevy had quieted upon kz's return, and i never got to use my story. it had such a classical romulus and remus undertone. she totally would have bought it too. some things are just too weird to be untrue.