pop quiz

today, two things that i see quite regularly confused me more than usual. and i kept thinking. and thinking. and i can't figure either of them out. so i pose these queries to you, my readership...know that while no answer or justification will make me accept these behaviors, and i will probably get on my soapbox to anyone who dares defend them, that doesn't mean i don't want to know the answer.

why....

1) alarming fox news emergency reports and the like have been declaring how americans' social networks are dwindling, and that the number of people we rely on for support or share our troubles with is at an all-time low. of course, video games and teh intarweb are to blame.

but at all times of the day, 75% of the cars around me on the highway are piloted (for some value of the word) by people on a cell phone. if you have no friends, and your baggage stays with you, and you're a miserable, lonely, isolated army of one, then with whom the fuck are you speaking, please? really? i have a rather large network of friends and acquaintences. i'm a busy person. i'm tight with my mom. i tend to drive when i'm driving.

2) i thought the showers in the gym locker room were to store cleaning supplies. i didn't think people actually showered at the gym, but ok. today i sat in the sauna for 15 min following 50 min of working out. i was already worried about the length of my gym break. whilst in the sauna, i watched a woman, already dressed post-shower, stand in front of the mirror and primp. facial moisturizer. foundation. concealer. q-tip ear-cleaning. rouge. brush hair. blowdry. i don't know what next because during the blow-drying, i had already left the sauna, unlocked my locker, changed, and headed out. seriously, how the fuck long does it take you to go to the gym each day if you can spend at least a half hour showering, dressing, and primping afterwards? do you work out for 5 minutes first? or do you have some kind of incredible job where a 2-hour lunch break, during which you don't even eat lunch yet, is de rigeur? please explain.
and as a sidenote, if you're so ugly that you have to work out in your makeup and can't possibly return to public life without putting your face back on, why don't you keep your busted self at home or get some plastic surgery?