crab rangoons, you heal all wounds

is it any wonder i've packed on 12 pounds in 3 weeks, when my last 2 posts are dedicated to greasy foods?

it's back to plain yogurt, green tea and woodland creature grazings for the next couple of weeks. having had the firm intentions of initiating this effort precisely this morning, the healthy train was derailed by a series of events beginning with realizing i had bolted my door panel back on *over* my seatbelt, making me almost late for my misfortunate trip to the orthopedist, where they basically fucked everything up again and had no appointment for me, rendering me late for work for no reason whatsoever.

once at work, i had 3 people clamoring for my attention over this dire matter concerning a freezer where the top shelf is an entire 7 degrees warmer than the bottom shelf. clearly these types of things hindered the progression of science in newton's day, as well.

so 6 phone calls and 9 emails and one stomach ache later, when my coworker invited me out for chinese buffet, i was there faster than you can say "oh rearry?"

and i could feel the MSG-laden fat deposits coating my arteries, spawning upriver to flock to my thighs and buttocks. and at the same time a golden aura - nay, a patina of cholesterol - encompassed my soul and i knew exactly why people love the buffet.

we start on the all-asparagus regime tomorrow.

hashbrown heaven

the only remedy for a dinner of ~15 glasses of red wine and handfuls of swedish fish is a nice, greasy breakfast the next morning comprising corned beef hash, eggs, buttery toast, and hashbrowns. followed by haagen dazs, and a screening of batman begins.

it hurt so bad, but the treatment was bearable. e$'s party was off the hook.

phase II: my enchilada is coming out of the microwave just now, and i'm about to return to couch ninja status.

nissan door lock i hate u.

and i hate your retainer clips, and spring releases, and hidden screws. i basically hate all your removeable upholstery. when it is time to strip your insides and turn you into a real race car, i will ignite a bonfire laden with the innoculously grey houndstooth linings that have plagued me so.



and then i'll piss on it.

going for the gold

things are not going too smoothly in sabominator-land. i did find out today that i got an interview at BU med, too, which was a surprise. however, it was a silver lining on an otherwise turd-scented cloud.

my knee has been borked for a couple of weeks, and anyone who's been around me has heard my whining for narcotics so that i may sleep at night instead of writhing in discomfort. i'd been seeing a PA at my local clinic for it, which was my first mistake. DON'T BOTHER WITH PAs. if they were meant to go to medical school and become real doctors, god would have given them bigger brains and photographic memories. between pubmed and webmd, i should start charging co-pays for advice. i am convinced i have been misdiagnosed and would really be more comfortable smoking the piss out of my leg muscles at PT after being assured by run of the mill imaging techniques (MRI, etc) that stuff is not shredded to bits in there. but no, "an MRI won't tell her anything." she should get promoted; a lot of MDs i know seem to need MRIs.

i mean seriously, i'm 25 and now i can't get up from a chair or scrub my own bathtub without disloacting something painful and crying like a little bitch. this shall not stand.

so now i have to go through the paperwork triathlon to get my films, reports, and clinic notes from 4 places and have that tabbed and color-coded BEFORE i can make my "second opinion" appointment. i'm going to ask if i can shoot straight for receiving some actual care, since i don't think a PA should count as a "first opinion." i mean it was triage, basically; i did get a lesson on what a patella is for my $15. at least that turned out to be what i thought it was.

then i unlocked my car door this afternoon when leaving work. only the lock ate about 3/4 of my key; twisted right off and swallowed it whole. hm.

silver lining: door was "open," and i had a spare key with which to drive home. hey, at least nothing broke off in the ignition cylinder. but so i had to move all my grubby clothes, tool bag, gym bag, excess fluids, etc so that they wouldn't be taken, now that the car must remain in a perpetual state of "steal me" until i have time to play operation with the door lock. i was going to just put all this stuff in the trunk but er, now that doesn't open with the key suddenly. like at all.

at least my amp is safe.

*editorial farting noises - judges give this week:

austria 2.5
germany 2
france 3
hungary 2
USA 4 (freaking optimists, who asked you)

obligatory hearts and flowers

happy hallmark day, kids - i actually have grown to love this holiday, because it is nice for me and kz to be able to let our guards down for once, and be as sappy and sentimental in public as oft marks our private exchanges, and not have to feel bad about making people throw up all over themselves in response to our diminuitive epithets and constant butt-grabbing and interpretational happy dances.

(last time i had to buy that guy a new hat...)

so it's been a good day so far; i gave an hour-long talk on the past 4 months of my development work, which prompted a handshake from the head of the group; i made fun of a friend's cholesterol levels, i ate some m&ms and a vastly underwhelming new variation of butterfinger (why mess with success?), and am now in the post-sugar pit of hell. but we're sushi-bound for dinner, and i did just find out that i got into dartmouth.

forilla!

i got a pocket protector today. I AM SO HOT.

tagged by e$:

four jobs i've had

1) i folded t-shirts and was a greeter at a prominent (pun indented) fat women's clothes store in the mall when i was 19. i lasted exactly 6 weeks and i made a lot of sales by adopting honesty ("yes that DOES make you look like the side of a barn, but get it anyway - who knows when you'll find something else that's blue and size 26") rather than flattery. call it 'fattery' instead. HAR!

2) i was a cashier at a drugstore that same summer. i took the shitty $6/hr job because i thought that working at a naturopathic pharmacy would like, teach me things and maybe help get me into med school. instead i stole candybars to eat while reading US weekly and i sold my little brother's 15-year old friends cigarettes.

3)i lifeguarded at a jewish community center, despite my lack of hebrewness. i took a semester off junior year and my dad worried i might get pregnant and drop out for good if i was too bored, so i worked the early shift and took chemistry class at night. i would nap in the pump room on a pile of kickboards because nobody swims at 6 am. and my mom would bring me dunkies coffee and bagel sandwiches around 7.30, because she is awesome.

4) i really have not had enough menial tasks to fill these; i was a spoiled "school is your job" brat and i really appreciated having an allowance till i was like 20. the only other things i have done, other than my post-BA jobs at harvard and now in biotech, are volunteer work. i coached a youth crew program in jersey for a summer and i worked in the brigham's ER as a patient liaison for a winter. that's about it, i am lazy.

four movies i can watch over and over

this is impossible, i watch many, many movies umpteen times. i guess if i had to pick 4 to watch ad nauseam on a desert isle, they would be these:

1) clear and present danger
2) indiana jones and the last crusade
3) better off dead
4) sneakers

i know pretty much all the dialogue in all of them, especially the first two.

four places i have lived

1) east hampton, NY (represent!)
2) errr college in western mass (whilst my parents have moved)
3) boston (copley and davis...i guess that's somerville, whatev)
4) new hampshire

four tv shows that i love

1) NCIS
2) family guy
3) teh OC!!!!
4) house

CSI, you have disappointed me this season, you do not belong on this list.

four places i have vacationed

1) florida with the rents
2) montreal for F1
3) california sorta (long weekends for reunion, wedding; not much of a vacation)
4) ooh! greece, all over mainland and islands, in high school

i have not vacationed much. i take a lot of long weekends to do things and then i freak out from stress later.

four of my favorite dishes

1) lamb korma or boti kebab masala (spicy) and naan
2) enchiladas mole and chile relleno and guacamole
3) spicy pad thai mixed with spicy panang curry
4) my mom's farty soups - chicken with tons o'veggies and split pea with ham hocks

i don't really cook.

four sites i visit daily

1) gmail
2) google
3) NESIC
4) PubMed


four places i would rather be right now

i don't know if i have any. like, i am pretty content. there are 4 states of being i would like to achieve but they are not technically places:

1) accepted to and settled on "the right" grad school
2) able to afford a small cozy house with a huge freaking garage
3) with the time and money to have a dedicated project car
4) uh i guess if we have time to honeymoon we should do it in monaco for the grand prix

and i can't think of anything else, honestly. kz and i would like to go on a pub and distillery tour of the UK, hitting clubs for phat beats and some historical sites too, but i would not rather be there now. i have too much work to do and the snow is pretty.

four "bitches" that done got tagged

1) kz, who is not a bitch at all, of course
2) colleen, if she hasn't seen this already
3) kz's mom!!!! who is awesome
4) my mems!!!! who is also awesome
(blogless ladies, feel free to post your tomes in my comment section, i think it can handle it).

sweeeet

OMG i want to go to umass med school.

so excited about the biochem and molecular pharmacology program. so excited about all the ambitious, motivated new faculty. so excited about the awesome labs, equipment, and facilities.

i may be running on sheer open bar fumes and free coffee since thursday, and i have a lot of stuff to catch up on for work, and i'm in debt due to dry cleaning, but i'm more excited about grad school now than ever.

i could have told you that

Reds are motivated by POWER, seek productivity, and

need to look good to others. Simply stated,

REDS want their own way. They like to be in

the drivers seat and willingly pay the price

to be in a leadership role. REDS value

whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it

be at work, school, or in their personal

relationships. What REDS value, they get

done. They are often workaholics. They will,

however, resist being forced to do anything

that doesnt interest them.

Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave

approval from others for their intelligence

and insight. They want to be respected even

more than they want to be loved. They want to

be admired for their logical, practical

minds. REDS are confident, proactive,

visionary, and can be arrogant, selfish, and

insensitive. When you deal with a RED, be

precise, factual, and direct.


What Color Are You?
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come again?

so i'm on the phone to my orthopaedist today. it's sad that at the tender age of 25, i have an orthopaedist already. i was trying to make a short-notice appointment because at lunchtime, in front of my brand new big boss, i twisted my knee to the point where it cracked 3 distinct times loudly enough to be heard over the cafeteria din. and i did that, yes folks, while sitting down. i did the "walk it off, no i'm not about to cry or puke" grimace for about 5 minutes and spent the rest of the afternoon doing paperwork with a biohazard bag full of ice on my leg like a huge pussy.

[side note: for those of you who have asked, my friday interview went well, i hope i get in, but i won't know for a little bit and if anything keeps me out, it will be my mediocre GRE scores]. anyway so i called my doctor and was put on hold anytime i ended a sentence with a question. i kept initialing and dating away on my assay paperwork, productive worker that i am. my subconscious language monitor cuts through the hold music and locks onto a phrase playing in my ear through the receiver, just in time for me to hear it without context: "...our colossal colon, which is now 40 feet long and 6 feet wide, large enough for kids to walk through, back by popular demand!"

riiight. i may have a busted knee, but i guess it could be worse. at least i don't have to worry about my bodacious bile duct, my dude-acious duodenum, or my radical rectum. how about that.