open wide

when my dog jamie was a puppy, she would tool around the house and yard with her mouth 2/3 open, nose in a wrinkled sneer, snarling and mouth-breathing as she searched for a good place to clamp her toothy maw shut. she was like a little heat-seeking baby jaws looking for the perfect exposed ankle or forearm, and would settle for your toes if you weren't quick enough.

sometimes i feel like an emotional baby-jaws. like i'm primed and ready to be pissed at something and have to wait for the issue to present itself. this usually manifests itself around the same time each month - now how about that? today i'm trying to figure out if i want to sink my teeth into how stupid the homework questions were, or how dry the assigned journal paper is (nevermind that it's a seminal piece by watson and crick. i hate it). or maybe that my dinner salad, crafted expressly by me, positively sucked with gorgonzola instead of my usual goat cheese. what was i thinking? and why is gorgonzola cheaper than blue cheese, when clearly that would have been preferable? why am i still hungry? why does my ankle hurt - what new contortionist injury have i uncovered? how am i going to find time to have my windshield fixed again? and that's if the exhaust install goes smoothly. how the hell am i supposed to find exhaust wrap with an empty bank account and a barely functioning cell phone?

i know my problem; a lousy night's sleep. so i'm off to gnash my choppers from the cozy confines of the futon while i think of more stuff to supplement my internal bitching monolog.