just luck i guess

i'd like to know how it is that whenever i walk into a public restroom and one woman is exiting, and it smells like poop in there, i always manage to pick the one stall, out of three or more, where she definitely dropped her deuce moments before. i am never able to pick, even by following an olfactory gradient, one of the non-warzone stalls. how do i know? when the seat is warm. bleh.
i mean, with those kinds of daily odds and my never-fail stall selection, i should play lotto.

and i can i have an andy rooney moment and ask why, oh why, do these tennis ball-sized, 8 fl oz poland spring water "bottles" exist? do you need to carry such a not even thirst-quenching paltry amount of water? a colostomy bag could fit more. i usually see wee little asian women with them; maybe their bladders hold less, i don't know. but seriously, how many more plastic trees do you want to kill, and landfills do you want to create? invest in a re-usable sippy cup if you're a hydration pussy, i say.