"sick" day

i'm home sick.

i have a sore throat and a pounding headache. it's not keeping me bent over the toilet bowl, or in a moaning lump on the couch under my dinosaur blanket. it's just enough to keep me from feeling like driving 2 hours and being on my feet over a stinky flask of LB, inducing an e coli culture and pouring my own acrylamide gels.

well, then. if i'm not dying, time to be productive...go to the chiropractor for the head pain. call the dartmouth clinic to complain, for the 7th time, that my immunization bill needs to be revised before i agree to pay it. call some skin care products club and say no, i do not want monthly shipments of foundation, thank you so much. download the form to change my social security card. download the next 2 homework assignments. attempt to print all that out and remember we're out of ink. track down my ancient printer's toner serial number. call staples and ascertain availability and price. start heating up the homemade chicken soup i brewed last night. clean the kitchen because i can't bear it. consider whether i'm feeling well enough to stand in line at the social security office (i think an e coli culture is more attractive, personally). consider whether i can do my homework without printing out my reading material. consider if i actually will do my homework even if i do go to staples, buy ink, fix printer, and manage to print out my reading material.

what happened to those sick days where i ate a whole box of honey maid graham crackers, drank a full gallon of tropicana pulp-free calcium enriched OJ, and caught bits of montel and the gory parts of 'the 13th warrior' with commercials as i came in and out of my thera flu daze?

i miss the laziness at which i used to excel. i think maybe that part of my genome has been silenced since i turned 25. i search for frantic reasons to exhaust myself when i happen upon some rare free time. i must be getting ready to make babies or something. bleh.