3 day weekend - all about the ice cream

Post-bender...

eye candy

last night's foray into the city to see the 'speed, style and beauty' exhibit at the mfa was well worth the gut-wrenching near-accident lockup while braking on the pike. now i know why bostonians suffer the mismanaged transportation ministrations of the mbta.

the exhibit was smaller and more crowded than i expected, and the packs of old eccentric biddies in their bohemian shawls gesturing with wild interest at the automobiles was a delightful surprise. seeing the first half with bugattis, mercedes, astons, was like walking down marble halls lined with the beautiful faces of yesteryear, an eclectic grouping of zsa zsas, bettys, veronicas, marilyns. the idea of driving these works of art was as intangible as imagining a 40's movie star using the privy.

the second half with ferraris, porsches, jaguars, was like viewing the olympic women's beach volleyball team posed tentatively, as though they were straining to remain still and not take off in a burst of movement. each muscular behemoth was striking, harsh lines and curves merged on a sleek tiger. it was wrong to see them so immobile, and i found myself holding my breath, lest i wake them.

i left with a quiet reverence and stars in my eyes, and a greater appreciation for echoes of past innovations in modern chassis designs, a living homage to the automotive artisans of the 20th century.

phosphorylation perturbation

< rain >
not like we need motherfucking sunshine to sustain life or anything.
< /more rain >

au naturel

It’s been months since I’ve had the pleasure of wasting time wandering through the mecca of bourgeois bedroom-community hippies. I ventured off on an early half-hour lunch, determined to procure overpriced organic comestibles to squirrel away in the break room fridge and feed on for the remainder of the week.

It was larger, brighter, better-stocked than I remembered. Aisle after aisle of chilean produce, argentine steer, grain-fed poultry. Exotic chocolate. Co-op cheeses. Your ancestors ate this. Your ancestors would have eaten this if they could. Soy, whey, whole grain, wheat-free, gluten, egg-white, whole fruit, unsweetened, in its own juice, naturally packed, flash-pasteruized, from the source, free-range, unbleached, live cultures, vitamin-enhanced, cream-top, homemade. Only the washed hands of migrant workers touched this product. This was made in the USA. This was not made in the USA, because ethnic people make it better. We consulted tribal elders in the free-trade of this coffee. No animals were hurt in the production of this packaging. We tested this on humans. Lettuce soap, tomato toner, rosemary shampoo. Lord, that’s expensive – but how can you put a price on inner health, outer radiance?

Good god, Whole Foods, I’ve missed you. $32 later and I feel healthier already.

tuned out

there are two things i have always wondered about.

what life was like before tv. i mean, what the hell did peasants do after a hard day of harvesting turnips?
and what it would be like to drive along without the animosity of fellow motorists directed at you. to be one of these oblivious drivers coasting along at a legal speed, parked in one lane, not cutting anyone off, not flashing anyone to move over.

so now i have an inkling about one of these profound queries. this morning we awoke to find the cable had been shut off. first i was all "well, we still have each other." 5 minutes later i was slapping my vein in earnest and babbling about "moving pictures! with sound!"

so that sucked.
and as for the other, i don't think we'll ever know. i earned another automotive merit badge this week. "making the guy in an XXL SUV throw up his hands in despair at being owned so righteously." it's a mixture of hard work and talent, what can i say.

luddites be damned

had to go and do it. check out "lame-ass moblog," to your right. your other right. yes.

what about it don't you understand?

to all female coworkers:

shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup
shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup
shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup
shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup
shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup
shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup.

grip++

should be here by the end of the week:

ES100s

ever wanted to mount anything so badly in your life?
(bonus point for weak-ass double entendre on a monday)

silver lining

so yesterday was a 50/50 sort of day.
on the bright side, i got a new box of ball point pens to stash in my lab coat pockets.

on the not so bright side, i found out i had abnormal glandular cells in my last pap smear, which is apparently worse and less frequently occuring than abnormal squamous cells, and prompted them to schedule me immediately for biopsies. i have no idea what kind of male readership my blog gets, but if you're at all grossed out by this, you're a real pussy and i bet i could put down more hot cambodian chili peppers than you could.

my recalcitrant sex organs notwithstanding, kz and i made it down to newton for some bar trivia with jonathan, e$ and katsu. the gin and scotch was free flowing; indeed i may have drooled on my arm and stained my favorite cargo pants with chili nachos, but our team, "carcinomoxx," took home the big 2nd place.

it's friday, and i'm good. tell you one thing though, and it makes me smile. if i have cancer, first thing i'm going to do is go out and buy a miata.

i ask you...

what's better than going to work on a monday?

coming down with a 24 hour flu and watching one lap at NHIS, that's what.

cough, cough.