happy holidays, bitches!

so i've decided to say happy holidays this year, despite arguments with my brother and dad about it. i feel like 'happy holidays' encompasses both xmas and new year's. i also feel like since jews are cool, i might want to respect their holidays too, since not everybody believes in jesus.

speaking of jesus, they have shirts at the local dollar store along the lines of "property of jesus, XXL" with a jesus fish around the "XXL." which is pretty appropriate cause i think the man done made some extra pork loaves for the people down here - XXL is right.

but in reality, my PC-pro-ness about 'happy holidays' stems as much from my desire to piss off christian fanatics as it does from my eagerness to encompass all strange misogynistic belief celebrations. anyone who thinks 'happy holidays' isn't good enough because it doesn't explicitly honor their commercialized, empty excuse to boost consumerism which uses a pagan symbol as a smokescreen to worship baby jesus, well - suck on my matzo balls. (and i found out i just might be 1/16 jewish - i think that was enough to skip the "ovens only" line - so perhaps i shall incorporate this clever comeback into my regular repertoire).

christmas may be a "tradition" of the US, as much as a country as young as we can have traditions. i'd say accepting immigrants is another thing we do a lot of, so maybe our festive greetings should make them feel a little more welcome - i mean if they can flood the job market and i can pay for their medical coverage, i think we can allow them to celebrate their own winter holidays. yeesh.

and what it really comes down to is, i already got my MP3 player from mom and pops so i don't feel like arguing. happy holidays bitches!!!