it's the site of sabs for the metrowest matriarch...so droll, it's dumb; so piquant, so prolix, it's against the laws of physics...

sabominator@sabominator.com

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

gyne-gymnosperms?

i was waiting in line for a pap smear (rather, waiting for the receptionist to check me in for my pap smear - they may herd us like cattle but they don't line us up outside the exam room and huck spent q-tips out the door as we go through), which is bad enough annually but rather unbearable at my current interval, once every 3 months. and i noticed a poster entitled "women's gynecological cancer awareness month." and since we as a country have more causes than the calendar can accomodate, we must have beat out "midget granny porn star lymphoma month" or what have you. but i'm supportive; functioning and healthy reproductive organs are quite necessary for getting your groove thang on and making babies. what i don't understand are the cutout pictures of flowers pasted around the title. flowers? am i supposed to have these eye-catching flora spawn subliminal messages about my cooter? do you look at a lily or a daisy and go, 'yep. flowers. vaginas.' what pastoral pictures would they have up there if it were prostate awareness month? cutouts of cucumbers and gherkins? radishes and parsnips? would that immediately equate to "oh, that must be a poster about the old twig and berries?" i just wonder. if you put up an icon of, say, a space invader, i might be more apt to make the connection that this poster pertains to my...yeah.

3 Comments:

traumahob said...

Hense the term being "deflowered"?

10:46 AM

 
shannoxx said...

Just the other day actually, I was watching TV and a Kotex commercial came on introducing their new packaging. Now, they use flowers on the package. Tulips for super size and daisies for regular... you get the idea. Maybe they did this so that when you make your man go out and buy your products, it is easier for him to identify. "Honey, I am making alot of spaghetti sauce this month, can you go get me some tampons, you know, the ones with the Tulip on the box."
BTW - That is Scott's reference to that time of the month.

12:31 PM

 
e$ said...

1) ew, shanna, I can't believe you are marrying someone who refers to menstruation as "spaghetti sauce". I hope I can get that image out of my head before the next time I eat at the Rome.

2) i have to say that the "space invaders" bear a remarkable resemblance to a poster I created during my junior year of high school. I was reporting on genital warts. So, your vag-space-invaders remind me of vag-warts.

4:45 PM

 

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