suck and blow

so today i had to go to this place in leominster, which i found out is a town in 'western' mass (i.e., past 495). and i had to blow as hard as i could (stop thinking it, you freak) into a little machine that kept telling me "wrong answer, blow harder." then they sat me down, went over a huge questionairre, made me wear the drafty hospital johnny, and confirmed that indeed, it is safe for the sabominatrox to wear a respirator at work when disposing of hazardous waste. in that, it would be really weird, based on their machine that goes "bing!," if i were to spontaneously drop dead of some lung-badness whilst wearing aforementioned respirator. at work.

according to the data, i blew in the 111% of other women my height and weight. which made me feel good for about 5 seconds...i said to the doctor, "so that means i'm awesomer than them," and received a patronizing smile. then i realized that most women my height and weight are probably post-preggers fatasses, and then i didn't feel so good anymore. ah well.

sigh.