first corollary

i mean, the CAR can outhandle teh honeybear CAR, in theory. clutch is on the left, right? (fred shakes his little bear head and hitches up his lederhosen in disdain).

*tud0r splend0r*

special shout-out to my little bro (he doesn't even read this) for moving couches that would stump sisyphus.
and a super mound o'gratitude to sean and kelly, who i thought would stop by for a few laughs and moral support - but they moved so much stuff, i think i'd still be hauling up these stairs if it weren't for them *tear*. thanks guys, seriously - i can't believe i got free manual labor. call me when you move.
MY APARTMENT RULES. if you visit teh honeybear site, you can see pix of our place and his mom's superclambakebirthday yesterday.
*clock is ticking* - car will be here soon. fred (my teddybear) has first dibs, but i will be giving out rides to test the theory that i'll be able to outhandle andrew (notice we do not comment on acceleration. heh).

caveat emptor

20 years down the line, or sooner if we get national ID cards...

PEOPLEFAX - personal history report

Welcome to PEOPLEFAX! Did you know you can access important information about the person you're interested in, simply by providing their PIN (accepted for all national bank chains and credit cards)?
Simply type the PIN in the box below, check off type of report desired, and click submit for your free, 1-page sample report! For an additional $29.95, you may purchase an in-depth, 10 page complete history!

PIN: _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _

type of report:
-prospective employer/employee
-prospective student or faculty member
-prospective mate or in-laws
-other (certain states allow customized reports based on all information available to PEOPLEFAX; call your local office for details).

[SUBMIT]

Congratulations! This person is in our date-a-base:

PEOPLEFAX Person History Report(TM)

Sample Report - prospective mate information related to person with PIN xxxx-xxxx-7105

(Disclaimer: A PEOPLEFAX personal history report is based only on information supplied to PEOPLEFAX. Other information about this person, including problems, may not have been reported to PEOPLEFAX. Use this report as one important tool, along with sound judgment and a familiarization period consisting of one or more dates, to make a better decision about your next significant other).

PEOPLEFAX Report Summary

Good News - Person qualifies for the PEOPLEFAX date-back guarantee!
-no severe problems (cheating, sex change, domestic abuse, stalking, prostitution, or cross-dressing) were ever reported by an ex for this PERSON XXXX-XXXX-7105. If you find that any of these severe problems were included in a police report and not included in this report, PEOPLEFAX will refund the cost of your date(s) and any therapy charges for resulting emotional distress!
(You must REGISTER to activate this free guarantee!)

PEOPLEFAX Talking History
The story of this PERSON XXXX-XXXX-7105 according to our interpretation of the information reported to PEOPLEFAX:

-This person has had 3 ex-boyfriends and was dated in Connecticut and Massachusetts. The first date for this person was reported to PEOPLEFAX by a TGIFriday's in Connecticut in 1992.

-They were involved in minor drama concerning two kegs and another woman on a college campus in 2001; no charges were filed.

-They have no reported total-loss events, like full braces, overprotective parents, undue emotional baggage, or prescriptions for anti-psychotic drugs.

-They have consistent mileage history with no indication of having been around the block. They were dated an average of 0.25 times a year, which is lower than the National Average of 3.2 times a year. The last reading, reported on 12/3/03, was 3 ex-boyfriends.

-They have not been reported to PEOPLEFAX as a dateback (loser).

For the complete Detailed Personal History, including:
-favorite foods and ice cream flavors
-fetishes and neuroses
-personal hygiene habits
-credit report and stores frequented
-childhood nickname and photos from the school play

CLICK HERE NOW!

nothing lasts forever, and we both know hearts can chaaaaange...

today is officially '80s MP3 day. the world has not been blessed with such prosaic lyrics since axl left the scene...