physics problem

for homework:

if C3 H6 N6 O6 (C4 to you laypeople) has an expansion rate of 8050 m/s and the mass required to blow through a 20.3 cm steel beam is 4.5 kg, what mass (in kg) is necessary to turn california into an island and set it adrift for several generations?

for which i have much love

i *heart* automobiles, karting, rare meat products, fake tudor spendor, people who talk about poo, and opaque beers.

a good weekend.

for everything else...there's patience

over 200 beer cans leftover in apartment, recycled...$10

box of swiffer pads, 100 sets of footprints later...$5.75

dinner, ice cream, and incidentals while avoiding apartment during the first annual dirtbag barbecue...at least $50

mommy's chicken soup ingredients...$40

4 days' worth of robitussin...$9.50

1 venti iced americano, to assist in physics homework...$2.75

cost of groceries for which there is room in the fridge...$0

movie rentals until TiVo records something other than 'match game'...$23

time spent on phone with ex at work for no reason, at current pay rate...$4.49

knowing god thinks you have endless ability to deal with BS...priceless

groupies

last night i met CHRIS CHILDS of amplitude fame...and if you don't know what amplitude is, well, then maybe you suck (go look in the mirror to find out). that's not fair, actually, since if it weren't for my ubercool boy, i wouldn't know about amplidute either. so go buy it and rock your playstation.
anyway...i squeaked several times upon making his acquaintance, and got him to autograph a chimay coaster. and guess what? JP, he was wearing your shoes (the tsubos). i think only cool people cam buy them.
i had a truly teenage experience and i bet this guy, upon hearing my story of 'how amplitude changed my life' and 'how i do all my lab work to the chris childs song on repeat' thoroughly scared him. you, too, can be stalkeresque:

-when you meet someone pseudo-famous, shake your head in disbelief. the whole time you're talking to them.

-squeal and say 'oh my god' with the same frequency you'd normally utter 'um.'

-grin till it hurts

-ask them intimate details about their life and identify, by brand and store of origin, all the cool things they're wearing and say how you were thinking of buying those too (*cough cough*...the tsubos on my wishlist...)

-don't forget to tell everyone around you, 'hey. this is so and so. yeah.' and then point out to total strangers while the famous dude is still in earshot, 'i just got so and so's autograph. yep.

so, try these tips and tell me how it goes. i like fanmail.

and if there are other chris childs fans out there...
you can touch me for a buck.

luddites

for the love of god people, it's an escalator, not the steel maw of death...

someday i'll ride one backwards, blindfolded, with a bare bottom and exposed toes, and hurl myself into the teeth at the terminus, all ray charles suave-like.

and you'll all see, there's nothing to fear *small child screaming: mommy, it's eating my feet!*

i think if kenyans can kick our asses on paved streets whilst barefoot, you can summit the escalator in your asics.

dreaming of electric sheep

if i could have one mental cyborg-like power, just one, i would like to be able to say to myself, "command Q," and all the people around me would suddenly be quiet, just like pressing mute on tivo. (jesus, are you listening? i really want this).

updates are the ones growing highest on the tree

i don't feel like being funny today, so i think i'll just say some things, all true, which are pertinent and applicable to my life right now.

-the people at the BU physics department have more clout than i, so despite being pseudo-prepared, i don't have to give my presentation till next week. which bums me out cause now i have to wait to wear my

scientific shirt

which will make my theories seem even more important.

-i have a new blue box cutter

-we spent the weekend getting used to the 'kitty gate' so that my bed can be bram-less and we still get cross-ventilation. pole-vaulting is hard.

-i agreed to be in my best friend's wedding next year, enthusiastically even (i can count on one hand the number of times i've worn a dress). the

bridesmaid's dress

will make it appear as though i am pooping flowers, but as dresses go, it's really quite nice. innocuous, even.

-i get to wear my new matchbox bandaids cause sean and kelly's rabbit bit me. last summer bunnybuns and i got to be tight, but i think he forgot.

-after the diaspora of the downstairs neighbors, they left a garbage pile in the driveway of sao paolo proportions. we had to bring it all to the curb (thanks joe) and like magic, it disappeared this morning. even the big rotten couch. off the curb, full of maggots, just like that. garbagemen are gods.

-strawberry cheesecake ice cream in a waffle cone is the best *twitch* lunch ever *twitch*

-after living in the boston area for 2 years now, i finally got to see real live people smoking crack. chau chow city is the place to be.